Not sure what to think about all these feelings. Or watermelon.

I hate watermelon. No, seriously, I mean it. I really hate watermelon. It doesn't taste good to me. I find the texture funny and displeasing. Yuck, yuck, yuck. My feelings toward this unusual green melon are intensely negative. This MUST mean I hate watermelon. Right?

Well, wait a minute, let me just think about this.

You see, my kids love watermelon. They beg for it in the summer. My husband does, too. It brings me great joy to watch them devour a big slice while runny, red juice streams down their sticky fingers. Additionally, it really is an economical way to feed a lot of people. Courtesy of Aldi, I can satisfy my big crew for a mere $2.69. Plus, I'm not opposed to picking out the seeds and participating in a good, old-fashioned seed spitting contest. And, my favorite Laffy Taffy flavor: you guessed it, watermelon. Finally, my chickens think they're in heaven when they get the left over rinds as a treat.

So, when I take all of this information into account and really think about it, I come to a different conclusion. I DON'T hate watermelon. Actually, I really like it. I still have no desire to eat it, but all of it's positve attributes do seem to outweigh my negative feelings about the fresh flavor and texture.

I'm sure you may be feeling perplexed right now. Why am I sharing this somewhat trivial personal information with you? I have a point, I promise. And, I think it's a really good one.

You see, we often use these two concepts, thinking and feeling, interchangeably. "What do you think about that?" "What's your feeling on this?"

But should we?

If I consult our old friends Merriam and Webster, I learn “thought” has several definitions. My favorites are (Basically because they don’t use “thinking” in the definition. I didn’t think that was allowed) a developed intention or plan and reasoning power. And “feelings” are an emotional state or reaction or an often unreasoned opinion or belief. Hmmmmm, that’s very interesting. Thoughts and feelings. By definition, they are exact opposites. Again, I’m serious. But, this time, I really do mean it. Their definitions are in direct opposition to one another. Thoughts are reasoned. Feelings are often unreasoned. Thoughts are intentional or proactive. Feelings are reactive. Thoughts tend to be based on truth while feelings are based on opinion.

Really, the two are nothing alike. So why do we allow ourselves to treat them as equals? Because they are not. If thoughts and feelings were each a tour guide, they would very likely take us to two completely different destinations. Reasoned, planned, intentional thoughts would carefully guide us down one path to a desired locale. While, emotional, unreasoned feelings would push us head first down a muddy hill leaving us to flounder and fight for our safety until we came to a stop, well, somewhere.

They're just not the same. Thoughts are reliable. Feelings are not. Thoughts are based on truth. Feelings are based on emotions. Thoughts are reproducible. Feelings waiver. We must always be sure we know the difference. Especially if we are going to act on them.

I've already shared my silly personal story about watermelon. It's applicable, but not particularly important. This next personal story, however, is both applicable and important. Please know, I don't share this lightly and I asked for my daughter's permission before I chose to expose her humanity to the world. Her personal struggle has been very real and painful and ongoing. She's fighting a war. A war being waged in her mind between her thoughts and her feelings. And, unfortunately, until very recently, her feelings seemed to have the upper hand. In fact, she didn't seem to be thinking at all. But, now she is and the tide is turning. She allowed me to share her personal struggle, because she thought it might just help you.

She has always been my princess, so I can think of no better way to tell her story than this...

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young maiden named Amelia. She was the youngest of three sisters and enjoyed her place in the family as "the baby." She wore all of the typical stereotypes well. She loved to be carried by her doting father. She would often proclaim, "Daddy, my legs don't work. Won't you please carry me?" She looked at him innocently with a sweet smile and cheeks full of dimples. "Of course," was always his reply. When she was a preschooler, and even on occasion a kindergartener, she would often "feel" sick on Tuesday mornings for this was always her mommy's day off. Inevitably, the sickness would pass after an hour or so of snuggling and she would declare herself healed and ready to face the day by her mommy's side running errands in her fashionable red and black booster seat that exactly matched the interior of her mother's little red convertible. Once she pinched her eyes tightly shut and threw a penny into the fountain at the mall. "I wish I were a princess." Her mommy grabbed a penny and tossed it in right beside hers. Her wish was silent, however. "I wish she would always feel like a princess."

And so it was in Amelia's kingdom, she was the baby and it suited her full well.

Little did Princess Amelia know her parents had always dreamed of a fourth child. Not because the oldest three weren't enough, but more because it seemed their family was not yet complete. Seven years passed and they were never blessed with another child. Her mother suffered silently, but never shared her disappointment with Princess Amelia. Finally, one beautiful May day they learned another baby girl would be joining the family via adoption. Everyone in the kingdom was thrilled, except Princess Amelia. "But, Mommy, I am the baby. Who will I be if there is a new baby?"

"You will still be my princess, of course." Her mother smiled confidently to reassure the small girl. But, even then, her mother could see just a bit of light left her eyes.

Years passed and the family grew and grew and grew. It grew until there were six children, three of them younger than Princess Amelia. Her mother and father loved to call her the "O.G. Baby." But, somehow, that just wasn't quite the same.

And, now, it was Princess Amelia's turn to suffer silently as she mourned the loss of her "place" in the family. She adored her younger siblings, of this she was sure. And it was because of this she never really spoke of her struggles out loud. But still, her mother always knew. So she was very conscious of making time for her precious princess, the one who had forfeited her coveted position in the family. The position she felt defined her.

Time marched on, as it tends to do, and the family continued to grow. Through unexpected circumstances three more children were added to the family. The years her mother had always called "the infertility years" were now suddenly full. Princess Amelia now had six younger siblings. And she remained silent. Trying her best to love her family, because she thought it was the right thing to do. But, always struggling with the feeling she had been replaced. Feeling like, perhaps, she hadn't been enough. Feeling like maybe she wasn't really her mother's princess. Feeling like maybe she wasn't truly loved.

As Princess Amelia allowed these feelings to grow, she found it harder to show unconditional love for her siblings. As she reviewed her behavior she thought she was sometimes unkind and this troubled her greatly for she knew a princess should never be unkind.

One day she and her mother were having a conversation about her behavior. Her mother had also noticed she was sometimes unnecessarily harsh with her siblings. And it troubled her, too.

"My Princess, why are you behaving this way? You have such a loving heart. I don't understand where this is coming from."

At first, the princess was hesitant to speak, but, finally she shared her story. "I feel like I've been replaced over and over again. I feel like no one has time for me. It feels like everyone else is more important than me."

Her mother was very moved by the revelation, although, she could not claim she was totally surprised. "Princess Amelia, I am very sorry you feel this way, but you must know it is not true. Have your father and I not attended all of your events and cheered you on? Have you and I not shared shopping trips? Have we not driven hours just to share a meal with you? Have we not traveled the world together, just you and I? How could you really believe this? I think your feelings are deceiving you."

"You and father were supposed to attend my finally sporting event last spring, but you changed your plan."

"Yes, but why? Had you and I and your friends not just taken a trip across the sea a few weeks prior? And had you and I not taken a trip across the world last spring? Your siblings had not taken a spring trip for two years so you could have one. When we were offered a free trip for our family, your father and I thought it only fair your siblings receive a trip, too. We deeply regretted the idea of missing your event. But knew, we had attended so many, we hoped you would understand because you had so recently been blessed. Plus, both events were eventually cancelled. We didn't attend either. Can you see the truth? You are important. You are valued. You could never be replaced in our hearts. Your feelings are not grounded in truth. Please, take the time to think and consider these truths."

It may sound like a fairy tale, but this story is true. And it is an unfortunate testimony to the destructive power of feelings and how they can rule your life. My daughter is now choosing to think on the truth. It is still a struggle, but she has made significant strides and she is happier because of it. The light is returning to her eyes.

In our world today, it may feel like things are spiraling out of control. We are constantly bombarded with distressing news via social media, TV and the internet. We see and hear things and feel compelled to act. However, I implore you today to ardently seek the truth first. Do not rely on your emotions or the emotions of others when making decisions, for they will all too gladly push you head first over the mountain. Be intentional in your quest for truth. Be proactive, not reactive. Think, don't feel. Let thought be your guide.

Consider the watermelon. It doesn't matter how I feel about it, the truth is, it's still worth $2.69. At least the chickens think so.